Leading Through It: Confidence, Capacity, and the Courage to Manage in Messy Times
No one tells you how often management means walking headfirst into discomfort. You’ll be asked to navigate layoffs you didn’t initiate, enforce policies you didn’t write, mediate conflicts that predate your arrival, or deliver feedback that’s bound to sting. And you’ll be expected to do it all with clarity, empathy, and just the right amount of authority. That’s not just leadership, that’s surviving complexity with your values intact. And it requires two things: confidence and capacity.
12/4/20242 min read
Confidence Isn’t Certainty
We often mistake confidence for having the right answer or being unshakeable in your stance. But real leadership confidence is about showing up fully even when the path is unclear. It’s trusting your process: your ability to listen carefully, weigh options, seek context, and make decisions that are both principled and responsive.
For millennial managers (especially those who were promoted quickly, or are leading people older than themselves), confidence can feel elusive. Impostor syndrome is real, and it doesn’t help that so many of us were taught to defer, apologize, or downplay our authority. But confidence grows with reps and with mentors who model how to be decisive without being rigid, how to hold space without losing the thread, how to own mistakes without collapsing under them.
Capacity Is More Than Bandwidth
The other ingredient is capacity, and I don’t mean whether your calendar has open space. I mean your internal reserves: emotional regulation, perspective, self-awareness, and tools for recovery. If you’re navigating layoffs and team morale and budget cuts and your own burnout, then your capacity is what keeps you from defaulting to reactivity, avoidance, or passive leadership.
Managers who cultivate capacity build routines that support reflection, not just reaction. They seek input. They give themselves time to metabolize challenges before acting. They practice saying hard things in kind ways. And they know when to ask for help — not because they’re weak, but because they understand that leadership is interdependent.
Confidence + Capacity = Credibility
Put together, confidence and capacity are what give you credibility in challenging circumstances. Your team doesn’t need you to be perfect. They need to know you won’t disappear, won’t lash out, won’t fold under pressure, and won’t pretend things are fine when they’re not.
One of the ways I try to lead through challenges is by naming complexity rather than smoothing it over. I’ll say, “This decision wasn’t easy, and here’s why,” or “This may feel frustrating, and it’s okay if you need time to process it.” It’s not about being overly vulnerable or performative — it’s about being real. People can tell when you’re faking steadiness. And ironically, it’s when you stop performing perfection that your presence becomes most reassuring.
How to Build Both
If you're wondering how to build more confidence and capacity in yourself or your managers, here are a few starting points:
Normalize coaching and peer support. Confidence often grows in reflection, not isolation.
Create space to pause before responding. Building capacity starts with slowing your nervous system, not speeding up your calendar.
Model transparency around your process, not just your outcomes.
Invest in your own development. Whether that’s therapy, training, or just carving out 30 minutes to think without interruption, it matters.
We live in a time of constant change: climate, AI, social movements, economic uncertainty. The pressure on middle managers to absorb all that disruption while keeping teams afloat is enormous. But you don’t have to do it all alone. Confidence can be cultivated. Capacity can be replenished. And every time you show up with steadiness in uncertainty, you’re modeling something powerful for the leaders who are watching you.
Let’s lead like it matters. Because it does.
About
With a decade of supervisory experience in government and academia, I explore shifting workplace expectations, cultural changes, and the common perceptions—both fair and unfair—surrounding millennial managers. I write about the evolving landscape of management as millennials step into leadership roles, redefining what it means to be a manager through collaboration, work-life balance, transparency, and purpose-driven leadership.
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