What Wave Are You Swimming In? Feminism, Generational Dynamics, and the Women We Answer To

When I first stepped into a leadership role, I expected challenges. What I didn’t expect was how much those challenges would come from navigating generational differences in feminism — especially with the women who came before me.

We don’t talk enough about this. For many of us raised on “girl power” messaging and post-Title IX optimism, feminism felt like a rising tide that would lift all boats. But the truth is, we’re not all in the same water. The wave of feminism that shaped our mentors — and the one shaping us — can be as different as a pantsuit and a protest tee.

So, what happens when you report to a second-wave feminist while holding third-wave (or fourth-wave) values? What if the woman who paved the road for your leadership sees your way of walking it as naive, or ungrateful, or simply foreign?

The Second-Wave Boss: A Blueprint and a Blind Spot

Second-wave feminism, born in the 1960s and 70s, fought for legal equality, workplace access, and reproductive rights. These women were often the first in their fields, navigating all-male boardrooms with grit and strategic conformity. Their feminism was often rooted in proving they could be “as good as the men” — sometimes by outworking, outdressing, and out-silencing everyone else.

Many second-wave mentors are brilliant, battle-tested, and generous. But they can also carry an unspoken belief that the path they took is the path. If you express discomfort with toxic dynamics, if you advocate for rest or boundaries, or if you name intersectionality as core to your feminism, you may be met with a skeptical smile or a dismissive “when I was your age…”

The Third-Wave Mindset: Intersectional, Relational, Disruptive

Millennial leaders, shaped by third-wave and now fourth-wave feminism, bring a different lens. We center lived experience, value collaboration over hierarchy, and know that gender justice is inseparable from racial, economic, and disability justice. We’re not afraid to question systems. We believe that feelings belong in leadership. We also believe that rest, care, and inclusion aren’t luxuries — they’re strategies.

This isn’t softness. It’s strategy evolved. But it can look like a lack of seriousness to a generation taught that emotions were liabilities and self-sacrifice was the price of the seat.

The Tension: Reverence Meets Resistance

Reporting to an older feminist can be empowering — or exhausting. You might feel indebted to her trailblazing while silently resisting her rigidity. You might admire her accomplishments while feeling frustrated that she won’t acknowledge the privilege or exclusions embedded in her era’s feminism.

She may expect you to take up space exactly the way she did, not realizing that your version of leadership is shaped by a different fight. You may be trying to widen the circle while she’s still focused on holding the door open. Both matter. But they don’t always align.

Navigating the Current

So how do we lead when our feminist lineage is complex?

• Honor without imitation. You can respect the women who came before you without replicating all their approaches. Legacy doesn’t require loyalty to outdated methods.

• Name the generational gap. Sometimes simply saying, “I think our experiences of feminism are rooted in different eras” can diffuse tension and invite dialogue.

• Seek solidarity across waves. Build relationships with mentors who see your style of leadership as valid, not just tolerable. Mentor younger women with the same grace you wish you'd received.

• Stay grounded in your values. Don’t shrink or shape-shift to appease someone else’s idea of “professionalism.” You’re not less ambitious because you care about inclusion. You’re not less strong because you care about care.

The Future is Cross-Generational

Every wave of feminism brought hard-won gains and glaring blind spots. The goal isn’t to pick the “right” wave — it’s to stay in the water, learning from each other, and pushing toward a shore that none of us can reach alone.

As women in leadership, we inherit unfinished work and the tools to keep building. Sometimes that means thanking the second-wave boss while also challenging her assumptions. Sometimes it means being the first person to offer mentorship without expecting replication. And sometimes it means just surviving the current, knowing you’re not swimming alone.